Which Space Marine legion are you?

All right, understand that to undertake this quiz is to gain an absolute, definitive, scientifically proven identification of which legion you would be within the golden era of 30k. Once you have finished this quiz you must pile up all your current models inside a petrol filled hole in the garden and watch them burn – after which you must ONLY collect the legion you were given from the results of this quiz (using space marine codex/chaos marine codex/30k legions rules). Do you wish to continue?

Yes

Let’s get this over with first – you are a genetically enhanced warrior wearing a suit of power armour, when you go to battle you prefer to:

Wear a helmet

Not wear a helmet (snipers be damned)

Sometimes wear a helmet, sometimes don’t

Couldn’t care less, you’re a space marine

Hmm skills, skills. Which of the below options really TICKS YOUR BOX?

Tactical squad

Assault squad

Devastator squad

Terminator squad (if you pick this you’re a dick)

Turns out the Imperium was basically all powerful before a certain someone cocked it all up. When your legion curb stomps a xenos civilisation, you and your legion like to:

Go in balls deep, everything, everyone, all of it jammed up the enemy’s ass

Use only the resources required

Go in sneaky like, send in strike squads to decapitate the enemy piece by piece

Grow impatient and virus bomb the planet

Back in the day Space Marines were actually ruled by their genetic daddies, called Primarchs. When you think of your Primarch, you:

Think he is the absolute man and love him to bits

See him as the demigod he is, but from a non-incestuous, plain, military perspective

See him as the demigod he is, but you don’t really like him

Understand that you are a turd in his presence, simple really

On this same train of thought, back in the day the Emperor of mankind was the most awesome golden man-god ever. When you think of the Emperor, you:

Keel over and jizz everywhere

See him for what he is; the man at the top of the food chain and the immortal leader of the Space Marine Legions

Begin to feel a little bit emo

Start putting spikes on your armour and begin mumbling heretical curses

All Space Marine legions have their strengths. A strength of your legion is:

Pummelling the enemy to a bloody sludge that is beyond recognisable

Blasting the enemy apart with so much firepower that you are just showing off

Strategically destroying the enemy in a blizzard of TACTICS and JUST AS PLANNED

Fucking with the enemy so much that they either fully retreat or murder each other

All Space Marine legions have their weaknesses. A weakness of your legion is:

Not knowing when to stop, when the enemy is dead, it is dead

Being just too damned good at what we do

Trying to communicate with the enemy first, instead of just annihilating them on sight

Having major psychological issues (which is not healthy for a legion of eight foot tall unstoppable slaughter machines)

Not everything in the grim darkness of the far past/future of 30k is decapitate this and shoot that. In your downtime, you and your legion generally prefer to:

Practise fighting each other

Discuss battle plans

Hang out with other legions

All of the above

Knowledge is a curious thing in the grim dark, the Imperium doesn’t want you to know things you shouldn’t. When considering this new-fangled term chaos, you:

Understand exactly what the word means and what it relates to

Have an idea of what it means, especially with these daemon things popping up lately

Have a very limited perspective of the word and its meaning, but you are learning

Wonder who this chaos is

Even though each of the Space Marine legions are enough to destroy entire galaxies by THEMSELVES, they do sometimes like to hang out with others. You like to chill with:

No-one! Astartes only

Imperial army

Mechanicum

Those things that live in the warp (sshhh heresy)

Apparently Space Marines are quite good at what they do. When you bring home the Emperor’s fury, you:

Laugh and hurl abuse at the enemy as they crumble to the floor, innards spilling all over the place

Fervently yell fascist Imperial propaganda at the enemy as they are punished for being different

Silently mow down the enemy (you’re too awesome to speak as you kill)

Have a conversation with your surrounding Space Marines while you slaughter

Space Marines don’t like xenos. They really don’t. The xenos race you hate the most is:

Eldar (THOSE POINTY EARS I’LL KILL THEM ALL…ARRRHKDABRK)

Orks (THAT GREEN SKIN JUST LET ME SHOOT THEM…RRRRAAAHHHH)

Pre-Tyranid large bug things (SO MANY LEGS DISGUSTING…GGGARRRRAA)

Non-compliant human civilisations (THEY LOOK LIKE ME THAT PISSES ME OFF…FFFFUUU)

The Imperium certainly has many enemies. When you and your legion goes to war, you enjoy:

Hurling yourself into the enemy lines, weapons blazin’ and a swingin’

Hurling yourself into a tank, driving into the enemy lines, wheels crushin’ and a splatterin’

Hurling yourself out of the sky with a jump pack, into the enemy lines, stompin’ and a crunchin’

Infiltrating the enemy lines, snoopin’ and a slitherin’

Space Marines have an endless supply of legion serfs to repair and maintain their armour. If your armour is not fully repaired and polished up, you:

Have a tantrum

Tell those little bastards to clean up that armour pronto

Realise you don’t care, you’re going to war not a beauty pageant (yes believe it or not Emperor’s Children)

Don’t even notice

Now let’s get a little more specific, when you and your legion are rolling over the enemy, you’re likely to find yourself:

Killing (melee/ranged)

Building (fortifications/weapons platforms)

Stalking (from the shadows/through a scope)

Touching yourself (why are you doing this)

You might have noticed that some of your legion brothers have a gift, some call them psykers, others call them freaks. When a fellow Space Marine with this gift is near, you:

Don’t take your eye off him for a moment, you’re just waiting for him to lose his shit and splurge into an abomination

Like having his special skills nearby

Treat him just like any other Space Marine

Taunt him until something awesome and unexpected happens

We’re getting close now. So close. Hmm, let’s talk legion tactics again, when you and your legion war against the enemy, you:

Strike into the heart of the foe

Take on the foe face to face

Unleash a mighty war of attrition on the foe until there is nothing left

Attack the foe with alternating strategies and such

Okay personal question now. You like your enemies:

Dismembered

Riddled with bullets

Barbequed

Mind raped

Second last question, HAVE SOME PATIENCE…okay which of these words appeals to you the most:

Destruction

Loyalty

Kingdom

Winning